Leading with Light in the Face of Darkness
Leading with Light in the Face of Darkness
What do you do when you’re the leader, the guide, the adviser, the healer and you’re just not feeling it? Like you just don’t know if you can lead this time in the face of this darkness, of this shadow. My shadow, your shadow, the country’s shadow, the world’s shadow.
The collective energy from the recent shootings to my own personal experiences with trauma recently have set my anxiety afire. My energies range from peace one moment to terrifying fear of attending a public function, from pure unconditional love to frustration and anger and seeking vindication for all the pain the newest gun shooting survivors are processing right now.
Yes, I am a healer and a leader and a guide and an adviser and a rock.
Yes, I am also a human with a heart, a sensitive empath who feels the waves of emotion we are all riding right now, and an intuitive who knows it’s not all just my own energy or yours or yours or yours that is sending ripples through my energy field.
So, what do I do for myself and any of you when we are all rocking in this boat together? How do I best serve you at this time and the many other storms that we may brave together in the future?
I share with you that I too am in my own case of big feelings. I too feel the anger, the injustice, the pain in my gut, the tears rolling down my face, the frustration over the politics, the frozenness of not knowing what to do next.
I also share with you the love I see in my children. Their laughter. Their hope. Their shielded, protected world that I have created intentionally so that they can be so wrapped in love and light and freedom as long as is possible.
I share the compassion and understanding for myself and all of us who are braving this internal and external storm.
I call upon G-d, my guides, my angels, Universe, Source, Spirit, the souls of the dearly departed to help me master peace and grace within my soul, within the deepest parts of myself so that I can be like the large, steady rock at the shoreline that stays unmoving, unbending in the face of terror, chaos, evil, and suffering.
I call upon my mentors and teachers to lead me in meditation, in guidance, and yes, to even give me a little validation that it is okay for me to be feeling all of this.
I look to work harder at doing the work, especially because I am “just not feeling it.” This is when the work and the messages hit me strongest. And I remind myself of my mentors and teachers words to focus on the baby steps.
I remind myself to be gentle with myself and others at the ways in which we cope.
I express and share all of this, knowing how much I am putting myself out here for all to see and judge, and all the other thoughts my mind and ego will share with me. And I am still doing it anyway.
When life gets tough and you are not sure what to do, Just.Do.It!
What “it?” The IT that feels the most difficult. The IT that feels the easiest. IT does not matter. Just. Do. IT.
Move. Move forward. Be the opposite of frozen or paralyzed in fear, doubt, insecurity, stress, pain, etc…
I rarely hear about anyone “frozen with love” or “paralyzed by compassion.”
We want to shout out from the rooftops, smile, dance, skip, run, jump, and MOVE with the vibration of love and joy and happiness and gratitude. Even when overwhelmed with tears of joy, our body shakes and moves.
In Judaism, there is a well-known Yiddish word called “davening,” or in English, praying. However, when I first heard this word, I connected it not to the word prayer but to what I saw those doing while praying…swaying, moving, dancing, even clapping, depending on the temple.
MyJewishLearning.com states this practice of prayer, as “The idea that body movement can express devotion to God.” They go on to discuss the Zohar’s beautiful explanation for this movement. “The Zohar offers a more spiritual explanation for swaying: ‘When a Jew utters one word of Torah (Holy Book), the light [in his soul] is kindled…and he sways to and fro like the flame of a candle’” (Zohar to Numbers 218b-219a.
Take a moment to really absorb that last sentence, “he sways to and fro like the flame of a candle.” We are each a flame of a candle, a beacon of light, a light worker.
Like those davening, I am called to move, not just to get my energy & my blood flowing.
I am called to move as a way of expressing my passion in prayer, to deepen my connection and my bond with our great Creator/Creatrix. Sway, sing, dance, hug, hold hands with others, join a prayer circle, build community. This is how we share our light in the world.
We are all grieving the losses around us. We are all trying to make sense of the unconscionable. We are all looking to one another and to our leaders for how to move forward. So, let me start by taking the first step. I will move close to you, extend my hand to you, and lead you to move along with me. Together we will return to this place called peace and love and joy. Together we will grab the hands of those others around us and move our hearts, our minds, and our feet towards a brighter, more healed world.
Xo,
D
Resources on Davening:
https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/physical-movement-in-jewish-prayer/